Cost-Benefit Analysis

Just a few weeks removed from our landing back on Canadian soil and there’s much to process. During our cross-globe venture, sitting down to tap the keys of my Chromebook seemed like a treat. Here, it becomes one of the many things that I must set an intention to do. Most days are consumed with an endless barrage of home maintenance to attend to, kids’ emotions to process, life’s work to contemplate......mind clutter. I have more than once found myself sitting with an empty head in front of a white screen. To write these entries means my heart needs to be plugged in and present. Perhaps this piece, in particular, is the most difficult to write because it requires a reflection of what it all meant. It was indeed more than just a 5-month adventure abroad, more than a blip in time, more than a season of life. It meant a deviation from the standard script and it felt empowering and mobilizing.

A large part of our June return date was for my Gigi’s (Grandfathers) funeral. He had passed away only a few weeks into our Vietnam travel and a day before his passing he had spoken vividly, and with intention, to my mum and I, from his hospital bed. His message was pure, “enjoy.” I heard his words in a big-picture kind of way and I held onto them tightly as we travelled. Now I hold onto them tightly as I sit in the comfort of a home that has provided more than just a shelter for my family, but a nest of opportunity and possibility.

When my mother read her father’s eulogy she reflected,

“Mom and Dad devoted their lives to giving us meaningful experiences, even though they probably couldn't afford it. They went out of their way to expose us to new things and ideas - like when they pulled us out of school to attend a political event to see Pierre Elliott Trudeau when he came to town. We were the only young people at the coveted event during Trudeaumania.”

I’d like think that one day our children will look back on this life experience and consider how it pulled, stretched and shaped them in some way… Will this experience fundamentally and significantly impact them, and if so, how? What will their enduring memories be? Will it be the events or the feels that stay with them?

Costs.

Every decision has its costs so I’m going to be honest. This trip blew our budget apart, some countries more so than others. (Sidebar, we also had a surprise boiler replacement tacked on for an additional 10k!) We weren’t crazy indulgent, nor were we scantily clad. We made the commitment to see this trip through the lens of an investment in human/family growth vs. a monetary drain, and we held true to that. Despite our initial lack of uncertainty about how it would all pan out with the kids formal and informal schooling (& French Immersion re-entry), we ended up being “schooled”. We learned more about our kids as learners, and human beings, than we could have possibly imagined, some discoveries mildly concerning, most others proud. We endured many moments of next level frustration in convincing our children to apply themselves but when they conceded we would sigh with relief at what they had the ability to produce.

Rewards.

What we didn’t anticipate was the richness we would feel in the genuine interactions we had with strangers that we met along the way. Much gratitude to friends and extended family who reached out along the way and invited us into their small spheres in the world….although we couldn’t venture to Hong Kong, Spain, Switzerland or Perth this round, count us in as hard yes’ in upcoming itineraries. One visit we were able to make was to visit my cousin Jeff, and his family (Julie and Sebastion), on the Big Island in Hawaii. The last time Jeff and I had connected in any meaningful way was 18 years prior yet without hesitation I reached out and he welcomed in. We found ourselves cocooned in an “isolate paradise” (Jeff's description) on a ranch in the folds of the Pu’u wa’awa’a State Park and Forest Reserve. For days, we did little but eat, drink, rekindle and decompress. No topic was off the table, and no drink was too strong. Our children, including Jeff & Julie’s adorably strong-willed 2-year-old, roamed free wandering through both garden and pasture at will. Indie found herself in the midst of a love triangle of sorts - with both Spurs, the studly horse, and Baz, the impish cherub, vying for her displays of attention. Oscar played his part as the jesty jealous brother who eventually threw his hands up and chose to invest his energy in being a golf cart escort! In all seriousness, our short visit struck us profoundly and passionately.

Watching the sunrise this morning from my cozy office on 16 Parkwood Drive means that 3 months still remain in this journey. Though they may not be physical in nature, I have come to recognize that dreams are merely seeds and that they need to be dug deep into the soil if they ever have a chance to root, sprout and bloom.

And so we return with more than just tattered clothing and memory selfies to last a lifetime. We return with an urging to continue our journey in a multitude of ways.

On our last night together as a snug little unit, Oscar blurted out from the warmth of his cozy bed, “I have all I really need - my mom , my dad, my sister and my stuffies.“ Essentially, he summed it all up in a few simple words.

Road trippin' through Oahu